- It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
- Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
- To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.
- Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger.
- A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.
- Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
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[Source: The JOKES Blog]
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